Scary stuff

I'm scared of people not liking me. Like REALLY not liking me. Like the kind of not liking that causes gossip and rumors. I don't think I could handle that.

I'm scared of losing someone close to me. I think I might just snap if that happens again. 

I'm scared of giant reptiles. Why are they even alive I even don't know I think we should kill all of them. 

I'm scared of losing someone's trust. I like the freedom I have. 

I'm scared of the future. It hurts my head to think that I could be married in the next 5 years. 

 I'm scared of boys. They make me lose sleep at night. (Okay not really but they are scary.)

Why are we all so afraid? Because society is scary.

Honestly one of the strangest music videos I have ever watched. But one of my favorite songs.. If anyone wants to try and explain what this video means please do.

Bricks Are Friends Not Food

Concrete is something I am not close with. It's not something I talk to every day because I forgot whats its like to have a concrete view of things. Concrete is something I miss. Bricks are concrete.

Lets go back in time to where things were stable and normal and just like bricks.

To be honest it would take me a while to get me back there because I cant remember the exact time I felt like a brick.

Maybe its a good thing? Maybe it's a bad thing. Or just a mix of things. Just things.

 I remember a day I felt concrete. What a great day.

Okay bye now I am going back to that day.

yep.yep.yep

Thinking about love... you can't go wrong with this movie.

Chocolate Mess

Its simple. Love is really good. But it can also be bad. 

When you walk in the store are you the person who is looking for the chocolate? or you saw it at the check out counter and decided to try it because it looked good. Then when your walking out the door do you eat it right then or wait until you get home because your still deciding if the chocolate is the right thing for you at that time. Then once you eat it does it taste perfect or does it taste bitter cause you just had gum in your mouth? So many choices and ways you can eat this chocolate bar. 

Love is a mess. But its a beautiful one. 

The 3 things that make my life easier.

• 1. My wonderful friends. As the great and amazing cookie monster puts it:
  
  “Sometimes me think, What is friend? and then me say, Friend is someone to share the last cookie with” 
  My friends are amazing. Helping me on the daily. 
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  2. Food. I'm not lying when I say this but food is the thing in this world that makes me happy without fail EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's sad but true.
  

  
  
  
  
  
   3. Religion. Long story short I have no idea where I would be without it. I love it.
     

The Black Crayon.

   Growing up was.. well, I don't remember actually "growing up" I just remember I had to grow up fast. Childhood memories come and go in my head but usually its just the memory of the "reason" I had to grow up so fast. I don't need to share that reason all you need to know is that if you have a childhood with a lot of great memories cherish them. Re live them as much as you can and laugh.  Just laugh. The color black comes to mind when I think of my child years. And don't start thinking oh no another depressed person because that's not who I am and because the color black can resemble plenty of things. Stereotypically it means goth, depressed, no emotion, sadness, etc. But those are not the feelings I had growing up even though I probably should have. What the color black really means is: The color of the hidden, the secretive and the unknown, creating an air of mystery. It keeps things bottled up inside, hidden from the world. Don't get me wrong me as a child was still a happy kid but the other half I didn't/don't show a lot of people is that definition. I think that everyone can be a black crayon sometimes.

Being better in life and stuff. I AM here.

Are you really here? Do you go throughout your day the same exact way you went yesterday? Do you ask yourself too many questions like I am doing right now? The thing is being "here" is not just physically standing in the commons when someone is being bullied. Its actually being there. And you can guess what I mean.. but we all know everyones definition of being here is completely different. I want you to really think about what being "here" means. I cant tell you how to live your life and you can certainly not tell me how to live mine. Really be there. Make a difference in someones life. Because that someone might never get the chance to have their life changed if you don't just do something. Peace.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."